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“Some people mention about how they met the most important person of their life here, or how they find ace friends in their city with ACEapp,” says Rawat.“If you can help make someone’s life better, there is no better thing.” But as with other ace-specific services, the user pool on ACEapp is still so small that it can be difficult to make IRL connections.“If every asexual person on Ok Cupid suddenly was on ACEapp, I would ditch Ok Cupid,” says Daniel Au Valencia, 24, who identifies as nonbinary femmeromantic gray asexual. Someone who seemed perfect in an online profile waltzes in late, doesn’t resemble their photo, and can’t stop talking about themselves.But for people who identify as asexual — or under the asexual umbrella — online dating can be even more exhausting, and often downright fruitless.

“It [was] very complex to change a dating app that had been around for 10 years, and [we] were aware it would be a pretty significant investment in terms of time and money,” Saretzky said by email.I felt crushed.” Asexuality remains poorly understood by the public at large, and includes a broad spectrum of orientations; some asexual people feel no sexual attraction toward others and may be averse to sex, while others who feel no sexual attraction may still happily have sex with their partners.Other aces (the umbrella term for those on the asexual spectrum) like Cutler identify as gray asexual or demisexual, meaning they sometimes feel sexual attraction once they develop an emotional connection with someone.Instead of friendly conversation about shared interests, first dates often involve fielding intrusive questions about their orientations and histories, especially from those who don’t believe that their identities are “real.” “‘Are you sure?’ ‘You know, if try having sex, I’m sure it would be different,’” says magazine editor Emily Cutler, 23, rattling off a list of unwelcome comments she’s fielded while dating as a demisexual woman.

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